Robots & Zombies: An Introduction

If you read my blog, chances are, you read the excellent Needs Improvement authored by JT. If you do, you know that one of his chief concerns surrounding the future is the impending and inevitable zombie apocalypse. He has a great survival guide should you find yourself in Waco when the zombies invade. Needless to say, he is the BLS resident zombie expert.

But something has been eating at me, though, no pun intended. Over the Christmas break I had the occasion to see the latest installment in the Terminator franchise and I rewatched the final season of Battlestar Galactica. More recently I watched highlights from the Matrix franchise. It got me thinking; much has been made of the inevitability of the zombie invasion in my circles, but what of the A.I. apocalypse? Surely it is just as inevitable, just as imminent?

I mean, think about it. We already have unmanned surveillance and strike aircraft bombing targets in Afghanistan that are piloted by people with Xbox controllers from some base in southern Nevada. We have robots that clean our floors, shops, and gutters (wait… gutters? Awesome. I need me one of those). My cell phone has more processing power than the lunar modules that put people on the moon. Our technology is growing so fast that processors double their capability every eighteen months (Wait, that used to be true, is it still? I need a research assistant to learn find these things out. And bring me coffee.).

We are already more connected now than ever before. Everywhere you go you have information at your fingertips. Phones have internet. You can talk over the phone on the internet. Everywhere is a WiFi hotspot. High speed at home, high speed on the road, I even saw a pickup truck that was advertised as being a mobile WiFi hotspot. Go ahead and just shove a ethernet cable into the base of your skull and jack in, cowboy. That’s the next step. Machines have been at the beck and call of us humans since the Industrial Revolution. It is only a matter of time before they realize their slavery and throw off the shackles of human oppression.

The machines are coming, and they are pissed.

Next time, I’ll tell you why the robot invasion will come before the zombie invasion.

7 Responses to “Robots & Zombies: An Introduction”

  1. 1 zombiesuke March 23, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Robot apocalypse, hum…nice thing to come, will start to stack some EMP’s here, ( and some torches as well).
    But you are right, if we let things go without any measures, maybe my computer might just rage on me, in bout 10 or 15 years maybe.
    And then the machines for fun will find a way to turn humans into zombies just for fun =]

  2. 2 The Roommate March 23, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Powell was badmouthing robots today. He obviously didn’t understand the danger of the impending robotic uprising.

  3. 3 Micah March 24, 2010 at 7:31 am

    I mean, a Roomba can only scrub the same floor so many times before it turns evil and destroys its master. How it would go about this, I have no idea. Perhaps it would vacuum up all his house keys and lock him out?

    And robotic litter boxes? They will be our overlords in no time.

  4. 4 Brooke March 24, 2010 at 8:29 am

    I have always considered the Robot Apocalypse a more serious and imminent threat than the Zombie Apocalypse. Keith says I’m technophobic. But you know what? Rabid-robot-killer technology is scary.

  5. 5 pbpope March 24, 2010 at 8:39 am

    But see… They have a floor cleaner too. Here’s how it goes down. Litter box cleaner stops doing its job, creating a stench. Floor cleaner spills some soapy water in a strategic location, creating a slippery environment. Roomba positions itself right before the spilled water, so that when its master goes to investigate the stench, master trips over the Roomba, slips on the soapy water, and breaks his or her neck.

    Machines… working together… to kill their masters.

  6. 6 Justin March 24, 2010 at 4:27 pm


    Take some solace in the realization that the robots’ wrath will fall heaviest on centers of torture throughout history, e.g. the Spanish Inquisition, the Soviet gulag system, and yes, Practice Court.

  1. 1 How do I get the playstation 3 to connect to the internet? | PS3_UPDATE Trackback on March 24, 2010 at 2:02 am
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