F-R-E-E That Spells STUPID.

Every once in awhile, along comes a line of commercials that, for some reason, the marketing muckety mucks think is advertising genius that really, really isn’t. For some reason, they decide to stick with these ads for the long haul, regardless of the fact that the commercials make you want to gouge your eyes out with rusty spoons and pour Tabasco sauce into your ear canals. I may not remember the Super Bowl ads from my high school years, but I can remember “Scratchman” of Lotto Texas infamy.

There’s a new series that grates on my every last nerve. The folks at Free Credit Report seem to think they’ve struck advertising genius or something, because the last several commercials from the credit rating website have all featured the same guys, singing some of the most annoying, ridiculous, nausea-inducing songs to grace the airwaves in recent months. I am thankful that I have a DVR, and therefore miss the commercials 95% of the time. But during that other 5%, mostly while watching sporting events, I’m forced to watch these horrible commercials. I will never understand how marketers come up with their ad campaigns. Do they just roll the dice and go with whatever is happening? Really. It’s horrible. It reminds me of the 1-800-CALL-ATT commercials with Carrot Top from the early 2000s. Or the “Gellin'” ads from Dr. Scholl’s. Really. Just go ahead and repeatedly shoot me with a pellet gun from close range. It’d probably be just as painful.

On the other hand, there are some fantastic ad campaigns out there that have withstood the test of time. I may have to do a second post about those. But, I will leave you this Sunday evening (a fine one, in that the Cowboys have defeated the Pack) with what I think is one of the strangest commercials I’ve ever seen.



I mean, if I woke up and a guy in a giant plastic King helmet was sitting next to me, I’d be freaking out, regardless of what kind of breakfast he brought me. What about you? Any other “worst ad campaigns?”

UPDATE [9/22/2008]: If you get the Free Credit Report commercials (or some other horrific ad campaign) stuck in your head, you can always head over to The Razor. I guarantee that the Back to Silliness song will get stuck in your head instead. Thank you, Professor. Thank you very much.

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2 Responses to “F-R-E-E That Spells STUPID.”


  1. 1 Justin T. September 21, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    I’d say the mute button on my remote gets used about as often as any other button on it for this exact reason.

  2. 2 Jesse September 22, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    Ah, come on, you would eat the egg sandwich proffered by a strange man who turned up unexpectedly in your bed? Maybe he’s buying you breakfast for a reason, hmm? But I feel you on the credit report commercials. I spent half of last week singing “F to the R to the E to the E, to C to the R to E-D-I-T, Re to the Port to the Dot to the Com, come on everybody grab your bike and sing along!”

    Freecreditreport.com, apply directly to the forehead.


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