Hockey Day Epilogue: If the BLS Faculty Were A Hockey Team

Prof. Razor made a post a couple of days ago regarding who at BLS would have made good hockey players, and that got me thinking. What if the BLS faculty were a hockey team? Who would play what position? Who would fill what role? Well, this is what I came up with to close out the Hockey Day fun. Several professors aren’t included here, because I haven’t spent enough time with them to have a good feel for how they’d fit into the team. Feel free to post your suggestions, because this is a work-in-progress, by no means complete.

Prof. Osler — The shut-down defenseman.
The Ray Bourque of BLS. Feared by his opponents, loved by his friends (I’d refer to him as Chris Chelios, but Cheli’s like 97 and still playing).

Prof. Cordon — The Enforcer.
This is the guy that is behind the scenes until someone puts a big hit on your star player… Then the Enforcer comes in and beats the crap out of whoever made the hit. As a bonus, I’ve included a video of one of my favorite enforcer battles below.

Prof. Counseller — Power Forward.
Not an official position per se, the term is a description of a class of players. Big. Tough. Talented. The power forwards combine scoring threat with physicality. They aren’t afraid to get in the crease, screen the goalie, and get banged up for the work. They often use a few verbal intimidation tactics also. I think this is a good fit for Prof. CivPro. He’s definitely not averse to drop the gloves, especially given his patented one-two combination, dubbed “fair play and substantial justice.”

Prof. Bates — The guy in the center of this picture.
I think that just about sums it up.

Prof. UnderwoodJere Lehtinen.
For those who don’t know, he’s one of the best defensive forwards in the NHL. Equal parts hard work, scoring threat, and strong defense. Prof. Torts was a medmal defense lawyer in his heyday, thus showing his defensive grit. A few times in class, he tossed the mild-mannered demeanor aside and revealed a dizzying intellect to the class.

Assoc. Dean Jackson — “The Sniper.”
The sniper is one of the most talented and dangerous players on any team. A pure scoring threat. Lose sight of her, and suddenly she’ll destroy you with a 110 m.p.h. slap shot.

Prof. Serr — Defenseman, and The Captain.
Big defense, big hits. The “clearer of the crease,” he’s the goalie’s best friend. Really… Tell me you can’t see Prof. CrimLaw doing this.

Prof. Quarles — The Coach.
He strikes me as an extremely strategic thinker, and well suited to coach this dream team.

Prof. FuselierHayley Wickenheiser.
I had originally thought about going with Pat Verbeek, the “Little Ball of Hate,” but I figured that would take way too long to explain and probably get me into trouble. Wickenheiser is the first woman to play professional hockey on any level at a position other than goaltender. Wickenheiser is versatile, being both a hockey player and a world-class softball player, much like Prof. Property, who doubles as both a Property guru and a member of the X-Men.

What do you think? I couldn’t come up with a goalie, so if you have suggestions, feel free to post them or comment generally on the team.




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